Monday Column: Raising eyebrows of matrimony

Two women, who thought were alone in a corridor, shared their grief. The younger lady, who was plump, with big eyes and round face, was more vocal than the other. Her twenty three year old son insisted in marrying a divorced woman of three children. He was just a baby, the woman complained, how could he marry a woman of over thirty?

 Her friend agreed saying that the divorced lady was a "baby snatcher" and she should find someone her own age. I thought I heard enough and continued with my business. However, I couldn't take my mind off the conversation.

Men are notorious when it comes to looking for a younger model when they are tired with their partners. But what we see now is women who have learned a few lessons from their male counterparts when it comes to a second chance.

We can open a whole new debate about it but it remains that it always raises a few eyebrows when a young man marries a much older woman. If it is about women's liberation movement then it is making quite an impact in a very conservative region of these Gulf Arab states.

I can't confirm this but I hear that one influential man made sure that his son wouldn't find a sheikh who would marry him to the 'old woman.' Even though, the man has got himself, not once but twice, younger women to enter matrimony with.

But women have themselves to blame about the whole bigotry. They always look critically at the brides in the wedding celebrations. If the bride appears just a shade older than the groom, then the poor woman would be the subject of a cruel gossip. They make it clear that it is unacceptable for a man to marry an older woman. Men just feel oblige to follow the trend.

But we see now the younger generations, perhaps from Western influence, find the idea of age threshold in marriage to be absurd. When I used the word 'absurd' in a conversation with a woman, she said quite defiantly," wait until it happens to your own son and it won't be so absurd."

I would not know about that, at least not yet, but then the younger generation has their own minds these days. Perhaps again, as we advance forward, we see a lot of changes in the social integration taking place in the region.

Social pressures like unemployment and the need to acquire all the trappings of life force young people to do things a bit different than their parents.

It is how you spend your life together is important and not, as one mother of the groom argued, whether the woman would "look like your mother in ten years time."

There is a lack of conviction on many of these theories. I am not going to throw fuel on the burning fire. I know some people who would hotly try to challenge me but no one is born with a complete plan. You later meet someone you want to spend the rest of your life but you need to be careful about it. Physical attractions usually do not last long.

Over the years, married couples change and they are not what they were now when they first met. It helps to look at the future before you make that important step.